Film Distribution (Theoretically)

         Who doesn't like regrettably looking back on past projects? Me, of course. Since I am kind of required to comment on it I will, but I would have mentioned it regardless, so this doesn't really count as my "pissy" blog post. Working on a film distribution project for a film that doesn't exist (and hopefully never will) was okay. Receiving a script, or at least the concepts of one, and having to create promotional material for it was enjoyable. While I certainly like creating my own stories and ideas, even if they end up in my personal writing collection, never to be seen by someone else, I still enjoy letting it out. The problem is, when I create something that others will see, and it doesn't come out the way I want it to, I shut down. I want the things I make to come out good, and I want to be able to fully understand the process used to make it, so that I can improve on it, or make something new from a part of the process later on. 

        With this project, I understood everything. I knew how to analyze genre, I knew how to compile information and create a viable production, and I knew all the ins and outs of distribution that were taught to us. I enjoyed that much as it was straightforward. I could talk to my teammates and suggest films to research, or genre conventions we could adopt. Not to mention, we were working with a horror/thriller. Things couldn't possibly be more straightforward than that. The story was simple. Everything up until the trailers was simple. I want things to be the same with my portfolio project, as doing a lot more work then needed, and thinking about my project in a deeper way was good for me, and helped me appreciate my work and ideas. I want to highlight on research as being knowledgeable on the topics I'm using for a project will help me make a better production, and help me outline an area to focus on.

        Conversely, I also need to stop doing as much deep work and thinking if it hinders my final product. When working on the trailer, things were confusing, but I still hadn't progressed on my work, mainly because I thought I'd be doing it with my teammates, or a fraction of it at least. Even if I'm not proud of my work, I need to get it done, both to look back and learn from the experience, and to get an actual grade. Finding this balance is hard, so I came up with a rather simple and obvious solution: asking others. If I'm ambiguous on my work, I'll ask people who I'm working with for their thoughts, and if most of them agree that it's good, I'll move on, and maybe revisit if I have the time and see a need for improvement.

        With film distribution, contact with my other group members should have been a lot better. But the little communication we had was good. I worked on some things that one of my group members praised, but the first thing I felt was doubt. I have constantly been upset by my work, even when others like it, or don't think of it as harshly. The distribution project was one of a series of wake up calls for me, all saying that my work was fine, and the resentment I hold towards it should not hold me back. I want to keep growing and improving my work, but it never feels like I'm making any progress, and I really am not. Hopefully I can change that, little by little, both with this project and the ones that come after it.